Seeks feedback and makes changes to texts to improve clarity, meaning, and effect
What do I need to know?
The impact of effective feedback on student outcomes has been established through a number of studies (for example, Hattie, 1999, and Crooks, 1988). Hattie, on the basis of extensive research, describes feedback as the most powerful single factor that enhances achievement. Like modelling, feedback pervades the school day: most interactions between teachers and students involve some element of feedback.
The purposes of feedback are:
- to affirm
- to inform
- to guide future learning.
Like all the teaching strategies, feedback is most effective when it relates to specific learning goals that students recognise and understand and to the ultimate aim of enabling students to monitor and regulate their own learning. Feedback should always be honest and specific so that students know how they are doing and what they have achieved.
Effective Literacy Practice in Years 5–8, NZ Ministry of Education. 2006. p.86
Students often find it useful to ask their teacher or peers for feedback on their recrafting or their preparation for publishing or presenting. Writers become better writers when they reflect and act on informative, thoughtful, and constructive feedback.
Effective Literacy Practice in Years 5–8, NZ Ministry of Education. 2006. p.158
… the over-riding need is to convey ideas successfully, involving playing with words, testing them to their utmost for clarity and inventiveness, wrestling with them and their meanings to enrich expression and make communication work. For the learner writer… the focus is on revision to make meaning clear.
Dancing With the Pen: the Learner as a Writer. NZ Ministry of Education, 1992. p.55. [abridged]
Proficient writers continually reflect on what they write. They reread their text again and again, both as they write and after writing. This often leads to recrafting (making changes to their text) if the writer thinks of a way to meet their purpose more effectively, clarify their meaning, or give their writing more impact. This process of reflecting on the text and recrafting it is sometimes called revising and editing.
Effective Literacy Practice in Years 5–8, NZ Ministry of Education. 2006. p 158.
Respect for the audience now guides the writer’s effort. In composing and drafting, the writer’s attention was focused on making the meaning as clear and forcible as possible. Now words, spelling and conventions of punctuation, facts, quotations, references, diagrams must all be checked, and corrected if necessary, Any text which is to be read by others should be correct.
Dancing With the Pen: the Learner as a Writer. NZ Ministry of Education, 1992. p.60.
What does it look like?
The following are case studies of teachers giving feedback to students in relation to learning goals in a way that encourages the students to make changes to their writing.
“You went back and cross-checked with what you’d read earlier to clarify your understanding. Making connections with other parts of the text is what expert readers do.” “I notice you’ve checked the punctuation of your piece. But there is something else you need to attend to. Remember that one of your personal writing goals is to check your use of spelling conventions for the plural words in your writing.” “That’s an interesting opinion – but remember our discussion in guided reading this morning about finding evidence in the text. What evidence can you give to justify your opinion that the wolf was afraid?” “I like your choice of language in the second paragraph. I get a clear mental image of what it was like for Josh when he first stepped inside the space station. There’s one part, just here, that I don’t understand – I think it needs elaboration. You may need to go back to the website you’ve been using to get more information to ensure it’s clear to the reader.”
Effective Literacy Practice in Years 5–8, NZ Ministry of Education, 2006. p.87.
The teacher and year 7 students had been working on personal experience writing. The shared goal was “to recount a personal experience in a way that has impact on the reader”. The task was “to share a significant moment in time with a reader”.
The teacher and students had jointly developed the following criteria:
- feelings suggested through descriptive actions
- expressive and precise verbs, adjectives, and adverbs used to depict atmosphere
- use of deliberately selected poetic language features, for example, metaphors, similes, onomatopoeia, and alliteration, to suggest feelings and atmosphere
- main ideas broken into paragraphs.
This is Jessica’s published text: A Journey Through the Morning Brrr! I couldn’t move, I couldn’t talk, my nose was red and my lips were blue. Who would have thought that an innocent, harmless winters walk to school could suddenly turn into a blistering snowstorm! My fingers were numb as I shivered my way into school and up the stairs. The pins and needles in my left foot felt like a thousand darts jabbing at me. My friends bounded over from the computer to say “hi” to me but I wasn’t listening. All I could think about was getting to the heater. I slowly approached the heater and finally collapsed. I felt the warmth drain back into my veins like water draining through a sieve. I look over to the whiteboard and remember the horrors of the school day. the dreaded climb up the mountain of math’s, the horrifying swim through the waves of writing and finally to conquer the rocks of reading. I slumped down off the heater and groaned as I sat on the ground. I knew then that it was going to be a long day.
The teacher gave Jessica the following written feedback on her published text.
This writing has impact, Jessica – I can feel the coldness of this horrible school morning very clearly. You’ve achieved this by:
- using full descriptions to “paint a picture”, for example, “my nose was red and my lips were blue”
- using expressive verbs such as “shivered”, “bounded over”, and “slumped down”
- using poetic imagery reasonably carefully, especially similes and alliteration – though beware that you don’t over-use these because too many can make writing sound insincere.
You have also begun to experiment with paragraphing clearly. Your goal: To make your tenses consistent in your writing. Avoid moving between the present and past tense (unless there is a reason for doing so).
The teacher gave Jessica feedback that primarily related to the writing rather than the writer. It specified what she had achieved in the writing, it linked specifically to the agreed goal and criteria, and it suggested the next steps in Jessica’s learning. The teacher discussed the feedback with Jessica, and together they decided how Jessica’s goal could be met. This written feedback was supplemented by oral feedback during the writing process.
Effective Literacy Practice in Years 5-8, NZ Ministry of Education, 2006. p.88–89.
The following are teacher-student conversations from the level 4 national writing exemplars that illustrate teachers giving feedback to their students in a way that encourages students to make changes to their writing.
Argument: Feral Cats
After the first draft:
Teacher: In your second paragraph, how could you reinforce that cats are killing machines?
Wiremu: I could use the word "kill" a couple of times in other sentences.
Teacher: Why have you used so many short, punchy sentences?
Wiremu: I wanted to make the cats sound dangerous and harmful. The short sentences get the idea across quickly.
Teacher: What made you use Mâori words where you did?
Wiremu: Because they are ones I know and they are important ones.
Personal Experience: There's an Eagle Ray in the Bay
After the first draft, Joshua and the teacher discussed Joshua's use of imagery.
Teacher: I love this imagery. Can you develop the middle more? Can you give the sea a life? Does it give you an image of an animal? Are there sounds and feelings?
Joshua: It's like a monster roaring.
Teacher: When you think of the forest, what do you see in your mind?
Joshua: It's like witches waving their wands.
Explanations: How Were Mummies Made
After Jay had written his first draft, he discussed it with a partner and then the teacher conferenced with him. The emphasis was on using the passive voice.
Teacher: How did your time with your partner go?
Jay: It was pretty useful. He liked my explanation.
Teacher: Did he make any suggestions to improve your work? I see you're making quite a lot of changes.
Jay: Yeah – he reminded me about changing it around.
Teacher: What do you mean?
Jay: You know, like when I said "they placed the body" I've changed it around to say "the body was placed".
Teacher: Yes, I see you've made a similar change in several places. Do you think that makes a difference to your explanation?
Jay: I do think it sounds better like that.
Teacher: We call that the passive voice. It's common in writing like this, where we need to know what happened, but not necessarily who made it happen.
Character: My Brother Kim
During discussion of the first draft:
Teacher: I'm thinking it could be interesting to include some direct speech if you can. Can you think of something Kim often talks about? What have you got listed in your facts?
Ese: He likes talking about girls!
Teacher: Good, can you be more specific? What might he say when he is talking about girls?
Ese: He goes, "Hey Ese, she looks nice, eh?"
Teacher: Think about adding that so that it builds on what you have there already.
Teacher: I notice that you have to proofread yet. What do you need to do?
Ese: Underline no more than five words that I need to check.
Teacher: Remember what we said about abbreviations.
Ese then revised and proofread his writing.